Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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