so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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