why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
