so explain again why im purple
no
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize