my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
