I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
