nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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