Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
