Do you still have your period?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
