I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Randomize
