Me too!
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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