I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
