I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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