you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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