im about as happy as oj after his trial
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
