Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
