I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
