Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
