i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
