Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
