You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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