If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
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