so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
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