The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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