i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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