So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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