that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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