Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Randomize