I wannas sexs uuuuu
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just blew my weed a kiss
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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