Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize