she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
