try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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