Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I had to cum in my sink.
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