Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I have aggressive nipples.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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