i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
