Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he was CRYING into my vagina
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
