I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
