so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My life is pants optional.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
