How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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