I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
