hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
