when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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