I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I wish I could teleport
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
