he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
