I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
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I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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