Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
