we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize