cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize