As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
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If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
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You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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