people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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