That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
its not stalking. its research.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
