Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
