You're so nebulous sometimes
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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