I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the room spins SO much faster in panama
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
