Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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