It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
