how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize