My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
