I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
accomplished twins. life is a go
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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