Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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