New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
