I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize