she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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