I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
