You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
