3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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