where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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