I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
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Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
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So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year