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i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
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