And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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