I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
